Whispering Wind...

The wind whispered to me today
Out of blue it blew right by my ear
So unexpected
But welcomed
And for a moment I was taken back
To what could have been
The voice inside my head was talking to me
Told me not to worry about
What might be waiting for me tomorrow
And not to let this opportunity pass me by
The wind whispered to me today
It sounded so sweet
And was filled with promises
Knowing my secrets and what my heart desired
It found me feeling kind of weak today
Yesterday left me feeling like I was sitting on a seesaw alone
But the wind whispered to me today
It was saying all of the right things
That made me rethink what I said yesterday
The other day I told myself
That I was bouncing my feelings off of a rubber wall
That they were never going to be caught and returned
Made me wonder what’s so wrong with that temporary thing
And it asked me what I was waiting for?
Who did I think was going to come along?
The wind whispered me today
And felt so good rubbing against my skin
Made me forget where I was for a moment
It made my curiosity level rise
I thought that the Miami heat was starting to get to me
And I felt like Eve in that garden
The wind whispered to me today
And even though deep down
I knew that it was probably right
I slipped on my jacket
And kindly declined its offer

cracks...

I almost got lost in a crack

It looked so warm

And shined of perfection
I looked down
And there it was
It had always been in the same spot
In the same road
But I was always able to avoid it
Because other things kept my mind occupied
But today my thoughts were different
The words of others began to fill my head
And cast doubt
Made me wonder if I had invisible blinders on
The one thing that consumed my thoughts for so many days, weeks, and months
Started to look kind of funny to me
I started to wonder if I knew what I was really doing

what i like

I know what I like
I like to be reminded why I am with him
And not someone else
I like to talk to God
And have tears brought to the corner of my eyes
I like to tell the world his name
Over and over again
While he makes my body shake
And make me hope that the feeling would never end
I like to wake up to it, go to sleep to it, and have it for lunch
And have it every way possible
I like him thick enough
To fill me up
And long enough
To leave his mark
I like for him to take control
And him to show me why he is my favorite
And why looking for a replacement would be useless

lone star memories

I sit here and I look out the window
Watching the rain and the sun fight for the sky’s attention
And I was suddenly struck by memories
I was asked today to name what I wanted the most
At that moment
And the first thing that came to mind
Was a long, soft, deep kiss
The kind that says
Hello, I missed you, and don’t you leave anytime soon
I realized how much I miss those
And that made me remember
The first time I experienced the lone star toe curl
And the way my body wanted to form a permanent V
And made me crave the lone star business
On a regular basis
The way the lone star’s taste
Lingered on my tongue
And turned into my favorite flavor
Made me want to trade in my sunshine residency
And open up shop in gate C
Spin cycle, couch, floor
Lone star weekends that made me weak
And made me discover something else within me
Lone star encounters that were separated by many Sundays
I never settled for imitations to fill the space
And now my soul sits on ice
As I try to shake the lone star off of me
And out of my dreams

afraid

I’m not afraid of it
That’s not it at all
In fact I can’t wait for its return back into my life
I can’t wait for it to cover me like a blanket
And fill me up inside
I can’t wait for the power it gives me
And the way it makes me feel
I am more afraid of who will give it to me
I’m afraid of being ready to give it to someone
And them not being ready to take it
I’m afraid of not knowing what to do with it
And of messing things up
I’m afraid that I won’t know how to handle it
Once it is given to me
I’m afraid that it may not be enough
I’m afraid of not knowing how to hold on to it
I’m afraid of it being thrown away
And of it not being taken seriously
I’m not afraid of it
I’m afraid of myself when I have it

someone else

I’m not mad at you
I’m just frustrated
I’m just tired

I'm just confused
I want someone else to be standing in your place
Why can’t you be you, but someone else?
I’m mad at myself
For not taking advantage of what is available to me

For wanting you to be in him
I know how great you are
And that perfection walks in your shadow
But you are not who I want you to be

so easy to say

It would be easy for me to say
That after one look
I knew that I would look good on you
But the truth is
It took more than a day,
Maybe it took a week or even a month
For me to capture you in my dreams
Because back then the world was heavy
And for a long time
So was my heart
It would be easy for me to say
That you had me at hello
But it took some time
Before you got me
To remove the chip that was on my shoulder
And rest it on the night stand for a while
It would be easy for me to say
That I instantly knew that I wanted
My head to fit perfectly on your shoulder
And that I couldn’t wait to hear what your heart beat sounded like
But I was too into playing the game
And was not interested
It would be easy for me to say
That you didn’t shake me
And that you didn’t pull the rug from under me
That I the only reason I anticipate you is because
You caught me at a weak moment
It would be easy for me to say
That I was still playing the game
And that I didn’t think of you daily
That I didn’t care either way
And that I wasn’t trying to replace you
And that I knew where i fit in your life
It would be so easy to say…