my desire.

I sit and I wonder
How much longer
Is this thing going to drag out
Just when I think that it’s
Officially out of my system
I find myself
Getting pulled in all over again
But at the same time
By the one thing
That is my desire
You pretend not to know
What power you have over me
But we both know my secret
You keep me an arm’s length away
Some days I don’t know
The difference
Between up and down
I sit and I wait
For you
As you continue
To tease me
Knowing that you
Are my desire
I’d watch you all day
Standing in line
Waiting for my turn
At chance with
My desire

?

You’re doing too much
We’re not doing enough
I can do it all
Do it with me
I want to do it all
I hope that I can do it all
Am I too much for you
You’re the glove for my hand
Is it really possible to have it all
The path is big enough for two
I can hold your hand
But I can’t carry you
Will you stand by me
Or will you only see what I am not doing
Why aren’t I enough
When will I be enough
How many more notches on your belt do you need to have
Before you see that I am your perfect fit
When will you see what I see
When will we be all that matters

someone else part 2

All of these words
That you are saying
All of these things
That you are feeling
How I wish that they belonged
To someone else
The looks that you give me
The way that you chase me
With persistence
Makes me wish that
There was someone else after me
The promises that you make
And that I know that you will keep
The way that you desire me
And want to be with me
Should belong to someone else
The expectations you have for me
That I know deep down
That I won’t be able to fulfill
The way that you love me
And wait for me to love you in return
I wish belonged to someone else

that thing you do.

It consumes my everyday thoughts
And I find myself going back in time
In my daydreams
Remembering
What it tasted like, felt like
And what it did to me
And what I’d to have it back
Just for a moment
A feeling that you only give me
That I can’t find in a pack of double A batteries
Or with a stand by
That thing you have
Is something else
Just a thought of it
And my hands have a mind of their own
And they want to roam
Gives me an experience that I never knew
Could happen
It confuses me because
It turns me into a woman who I never knew existed
Ravenous, greedy, and thirsty
No matter how much I get it it’s never enough
Time flies by too quickly
And as soon as I say goodbye
I am mentally planning next trip

the need.

There was a time that I didn’t know
The difference
Between wanting someone
And needing someone
I didn’t realize until it was all over
That I needed him
I gave him all of me
Whatever he asked it was his
No questions asked
I no longer made him work for me
He became my life line
And I needed him
To function
And to live
I was a smart girl
Who was being led by dumb choices
Only wanting him would have allowed me
To see what was right in front of me
And would have saved me so much time
So much pain
He would tell me that he needed me
But now I know that he really didn’t
He only wanted me when it was convenient
He only wanted me when someone else wanted me
He knew I needed him
But he did not care
He took advantage of my dependence on him
We had more do overs
Than happy endings
And I forgave him
Because I thought there was no me without him

just for you

I wanted to write this one just for you
I needed to tell you
How I’ve broken some of my rules for you
That as hard as I try I just can’t figure it out
Why
You make me second guess my decisions
And though you want no part of them
You influence my choices
This one was supposed to tell you that
I think that what we just might be
The one thing that I can’t give a label too
And that’s fine
Because whatever we are and where ever we are
Are the way things are supposed to be
I wanted to write this one just for you
To tell you
That even when you frustrate me
I still find myself missing you
And that though I try to put walls up between us
On top of the miles that lay between us
I find myself telling you secrets that I never even knew that I had
I wanted to write this one just for you
But even after looking at all of these words
There is so much more that I want to say