never better

Is it going to ever be better?
That’s what I have to ask myself
Maybe I am just wasting my time
And I am living in some fantasy world
Thinking things would be different
Better…
In the midst of my realism
I try to remain hopeful
Continue to be led by optimism
Only to be hit by reality
Time and time again
Stuck between being my biggest supporter
And being the first one to rain on my own parade
Trying to resist the urge to lay down
On the tracks
Of pessimism
And just
*sigh*
Give up

Don't Blame Life

We always blame our hardships on life
Life’s too hard
Life’s too complicated
Life does not want to cooperate
But sometimes we have to step back and take the blame
Life gave us all of the signs that it was a bad idea to begin with
But we over powered life and did it anyway
Even though we knew it would be easier to pick the one
Who looked at you with stars in his eyes
And saw only you
Because you were his first, second, and third choice
But you are stuck on the one
Who sees you as one of many
And wouldn’t miss you if you walked away
You ignore life’s clues and stand strong anyway
Determined to stick it out
Even though you know it would be easier to wave your white flag
And turn to the one that is less of a challenge
You remain stubborn
And refuse to let life win

You call it protecting your heart
But as much as you try to deny it
You are becoming what you dread most
The wall you have placed up
Has made you kind of cold
And has turned you almost uncaring
All you wanted to do was protect your heart
Because you remember how long
It took to put it back together the last time
So as soon as you feel
Someone pulling at it again
You put your guard up
Allow yourself to tease and flirt a little
While guiltlessly dropping false promises along the way
Because the idea of missing someone is too much to bare
And the thought of someone missing you back is unimaginable
You try to lose yourself in the idea of unattached freedom
But find yourself living in a numb prison

like bees to honey...

Its okay
I totally understand
It’s nothing personal
Everything is copasetic
Just another bee drawn to my honey
But I admittedly got stung once
So now I keep ‘em at wings length
And let ‘em get a wiff
Don’t get upset
Don’t make excuses
You do you and
I’ll do me
And when our paths cross
Maybe just maybe we’ll do each other
I’m not sweating you because
I am not clueless
And neither are you
You know how I am
And you think you know what I can do
But why should I give you priority perks
While you only give me option time
I was caught up for a little bit but
I am not totally blinded yet
I know that I am not the only hive keeping your belly full