never better

Is it going to ever be better?
That’s what I have to ask myself
Maybe I am just wasting my time
And I am living in some fantasy world
Thinking things would be different
Better…
In the midst of my realism
I try to remain hopeful
Continue to be led by optimism
Only to be hit by reality
Time and time again
Stuck between being my biggest supporter
And being the first one to rain on my own parade
Trying to resist the urge to lay down
On the tracks
Of pessimism
And just
*sigh*
Give up