welcome...

A welcomed unexpected
Has taken place
And no matter how much
You might try to resist it
It begins to grow on you
Leaving your heart racing
At the sight of their name
On your phone
You try to brush them off
And label them
Like the others
But they find a way to break through
Your carefully built barrier
One look from them and
Chills run through your body
Feelings that you thought
Were gone from your body
Begin to reappear
And to your surprise
You want to share your most prized possessions
Your space and time
With them
A part you miss them
Together you want time to freeze
So you can hold onto the moment
As long as possible
Before it becomes a memory
They begin to invade your dreams
Night and day

I cried...

I thought that I had lost my words
But I found them
Sitting alone
In my hotel room
I thought that they were gone forever
But they emerged
The day I refound my tears
As I was
Watching M and B dance across
The Presidential seal
I cried
I cried for my great grandmothers who did not get past the third grade
But knew that there was more out there for their children
I cried for my grandmommie
Who got tired of scrubbing white people’s floors
And put herself through college
I cried for myself
Because I thought that I no longer knew how
I cried for the grown men I saw hugging and crying
Standing outside in 17 degree weather in front of the capital building
I cried for myself
Because I am working hard to be what people think I am
I cried
For those who couldn’t be there
I cried
Hoping that I am making my parents proud
I cried
Because it’s hard sometimes to keep going
I cried for those many times I was close to the point
Of no return
I cried for
M and B’s love
I cried for my head
Because it knows better
And my heart because
It doesn’t
I cried for my heart
Because it was ready to wait
Willing to go the distance
And do whatever it took
Because you were worth it
Correction are worth it
I cried because
There was a time
When someone had me fooled
Into thinking I was worthy of
The foul treatment I was receiving
I cried for my past
And the things that could not be undone
I cried for my future
And its uncertainty
I cried
Because for so long I thought that I couldn’t

not my words...

These words aren’t my own, but I can relate to most of them…

Melt My Heart to Stone by Adele

Right under my feet there’s air made of bricks
Pulls me down turns me weak for you
I find myself repeating like a broken tune
And I’m forever excusing your intentions
And I give in to my pretendings
Which forgive you each time
Without me knowing
They melt my heart to stone
And I hear your words that I made up
You say my name like there could be an us
I best tidy up my head
I’m the only one in love
I’m the only one in love
Each and every time I turn around to leave
I feel my heart begin to burst and bleed
So desperately I try to link it with my head
But instead I fall back to my knees
As you tear your way right through me
I forgive you once again
Without me knowing
You’ve burnt my heart to stone
And I hear your words that I made up
You say my name like there could be an us
I best tidy up my head
I’m the only one in love
I’m the only one in love
Why do you steal my hand
Whenever I’m standing my own ground
You build me up, then leave me dead
Well I hear your words you made up
So I say your name like there could be an us
I best tidy up my head
I’m the only one in love
I’m the only one in love

Your position has changed
But mine has remained the same
But the freedom to express it
Is no longer there
I can no longer say
You can read it if you wanna
All I can do
Is sit and wait
For this time to pass