Dr. Jigga

“I used to give a fuck, now I give a fuck less”
Jigga said sometimes you have to let that thing breathe
In the past three years
I have been up, down, depressed, overwhelmed,

happy, fearful, on the edge, excited, scared, in love, lonely, and claustrophobic
I’ve been accused of being too laid back
Uncaring
But that’s not it
I have learned not to take things home with me
Work stays at work
If an assignment does not get done
I go to sleep and wake up the next day ready to pound it out
I’ve learned to hope for the best
If I feel like driving slow in the rain while Lionel fills my car
I do so
I’ve learned to let my feelings become my feelings
No one owns them anymore
I’ve made me responsible for me
“I used to give a shit, but now I don’t give a shit more…”

love/hate

There are times that you are my worst enemy
And I hate you
I am obsessed with you
Watching your every move
Hoping that things work in my favor
Sometimes I need more from you
There are times that I wish you’d speed up
I hate how you can control me
And wish that you would just go away
I look for you
Depend on you
Wait for you

I can't stand you
TIME

weezy baby

“You knew all about me baby, but you weren’t about me baby…”
I never though that there would be a day that I would be quoting Lil’ Wayne, but his words though simple, hold a lot of power. I always try and figure out how I end up back here…how WE end up back here. A friend brought it o my attention the other day…it began here and it not matter how many stops and detours I make end up back here. Back here in this same soot, with the same questions, and battling the same dilemma. Wondering how much you know and how much you have decided to ignore. The L word passes between us on a regular basis and filters are non existent, but yet we always seem to be stuck in limbo. Will this always be us? Will we continue to go on different paths only to return here over and over again? “You knew all about me baby, but you weren’t about me baby…”

i don't miss you

Tonight is one of those nights
That I think about all the things that I miss
His voice
The way my lips felt
On his scruffy cheeks
His kisses
I miss the sound of his laugh
Telling me his secrets
And me with no filter
His personal scent
That drove me crazy
And that sometimes still sneaks up on me
The way he knew me
The smoothness of his stomach
The strength of his arms
How I wanted him all of the time
The wideness of his back
They way he could always make me smile
With just a look
How I fit perfectly under him
When we slept
The richness of his skin
The way I couldn’t wait
to fall in love with him
I miss the way
That I used to be able to tell him
All of these things