simply beautiful

Sometimes you shine so brightly
That it hurts to be near you
But you shine so brightly
That I can’t help to be drawn to you
Because you are just that beautiful
I’d stand outside your window just to get a glimpse
Of the beauty that I like to think
That only I can see

I wanna make a movie with your beauty

You don't know your own beauty
I wanna keep you my secret
I don’t want to have to share you
Your beauty is one of a kind
I hear your beauty
In the beat of my favorite song
To be able to lock you up
And place you in my back pocket
So that I can carry you around with me
Where ever I go
I wanna lay in your beauty

And wrap it all around me
Touch your beauty
Taste your beauty
Inhale your beauty
Exhale you beauty
So that you can fill the room every time
I feel alone

I wanna just be

In your beauty
Because you are just
Simply beautiful

what lovers do

Sometimes I wish that we could do what lovers do
I just close my eyes
And get lost in wishful thinking
I see it all
A perfectly painted picture
Of unforced beauty
Then the paint starts to drip
And I begin to wonder
If I still know how to go there
Do I know how to let me belong to someone else?
Become free and completely theirs
Or will I always be waiting for the other shoe to drop
I squeeze my eyes tightly
Trying to hold on to the image for as long as I possibly can
And try to imagine what it would feel like
If we did what lovers do

almost

you knew the answer to the question
before you even asked it
yet you asked anyway
with a look in your eyes
that i had never seen before
a look that made
my heart break for you
and for what could have been...
should have been...
for what was...
*sigh*
it wasn't so long ago
that i laid it out for you
waited for you
hoped for you
it was all yours
you let the moment pass
and with it you let me slip away
and now here we are
forced to let go of the almost...

is sorry enough?

Stuck between this thing called a rock
And this thing called a hard place
Always turning from what is simple and easy
In order to wait on the bus stop
With a one way ticket to a town called hard and difficult
You are willing to give me everything
And all you ask in return
Is for the one thing that no matter how much I try and fake it
That I can’t give you
It would be so easy to release everything to your custody
And just go with the flow
But I know that I can't promise you that I’ll stay
And I can’t honestly offer what you want most from me
Maybe I’m a fool who doesn’t know what’s best for me
Or maybe I’m a dreamer
Who believes that there is something more out there for me
But either way all I can say is that I am sorry
For not being the woman that you want me to be

today or tomorrow

you say that i think about tomorrow too much

and should only worry about today

but what am i to do

when today will leave me

picking up the pieces tomorrow?

trying to live in the moment

but my mind continues to look at tomorrow

and the questions that i will be left answering

did i follow my heart?

or was i following the needs?

am i being fair to either of us,

knowing that i am not all in it?

that i see you as some temporary fix

and you see me as your last?

whether i live for today or live for tomorrow

i will continue to live in limbo of what i do

and what i want to do.

why at one in the morning?

stomach rumbling

mind racing

insomnia has checked in

and buddy aint moving out any time soon

looking at the pile of articles i need to read

to finally complete this paper

and i turn to this thing instead

my central time zone spiritual sista

left my mind in a frenzy

and has me wondering what the HELL am i doing

and why am i letting it happen

where is my voice

why is the enemy

better known as my cell phone

talking to me after one in the morning

to ask me am i sleep

at ONE in the morning

why are you asking me

how you can become my favorite

if you were meant for that position

you would be already doing what it requires

and your name would be one office door

how can i began to replace the irreplaceable

why are you trying to build a time machine

you can't take back the past

and as much as i've grown

i can forgive

but the scars on my heart won't let me forget

why do i underbid during spades games

why are you trying to be something that you are not

why are you trying to force something that is not there

why can't you follow directions

am i really asking for that much

why did my mother ask me

if my heart has grown cold

why don't you understand

i'm not pushing anymore

it is what it is

midnight

it's after midnight
and that means that it's the start of a new day
either i am one day closer to my goal
or one day further from what i want to erase
just got a much needed word
late night conversation style for her
early morning for me
from a good friend
who was given to me by another
who throws punches
but is soft with the touch
a hour behind but
who keeps me on my toes
and sees the light at the end of the tunnel for me
when i can't see it for myself
who asks me what am i trying to do with my heart
where do i want to be
is it worth it
is this worth it
is he worth it
why can't i see that i am worth it
what do i want
what do i deserve
what do i need
she reminds me to give it up to HIM
because only HE knows what's best
and as tears try to escape my eyes
she reassures me
that everything that is going to be okay
it's after midnight
and insomnia lays next to me
waiting for its bedtime story
and one of our late night conversations
i'm alone with my deepest thoughts
and my biggest fears
i once again vow to let things go when the sun and the stars kiss
and release them to a higher power

lyrical diary

i sit here

with my books piled high

and my to do list over flowing

but nothing is getting done

i close my eyes

and my mind begins to drift

with Aaliyah's voice filling my ears

as i feel the sun's warmth

painting my arms through the window

leaves me wondering

how do they know what words to write

to make you feel like you aren't alone

back then when things weren't looking so good

somehow she knew

the one i gave my heart to

heartbroken

when you woke up

read between the lines

when you found the strength to make a change

never no more

when you decided second chances were no longer an option

i refuse

and turned to yourself

more than a woman

she knew life could go on

when something new caught your attention

can come i come over

and made you feel 16 again

4 page letter

at your best

someone else's lyrics...

...pages from my diary

revelations of a coward

i know what i gotta do
but something in me just won't let me
as my mind races faster than my fingers are able to keep up
i know that i shouldn't
but my insides disagree
and they want to
i try my hardest not to weaken to them
but i don't know how much longer i can hold them off
the revelations of a coward i hold inside
my mouth says things that i don't believe
but things that i wear as protective armor
for my audience
for those who turn to me as one whose sand stays in tact
when the waves hit it
revelations of a coward...
i know what i should to do
but here i am
putting all my chips on the table
regardless of the fact that there are no promises
or guarantees waiting in the the horizon
revelations of a coward...
i'm in no rush to get to the end
i'm not trying to move at full speed
i am good moving in slow motion
because i don't want my eyes to be bigger
than my stomach
i still have some work to do within
i'm in no position to bite off more than i can chew
but now i sit here and look
at all of these words
that i've placed in my own personal confessional
only to end up getting tucked away with the the others
in a box labeled revelations of a coward
and i'll wrap myself in prince's pink cashmere
and let jill and corrine talk to me in my sleep

Blue Magic pt. II

That blue magic caught up with me today
one look at it and my blood began to boil
when i got close enough to smell it
my heart began to race
and i had to hide my eyes
to hide my true feelings
then that blue magic touched me
and i was dunnzo
i was lost in a trance that i told myself
that i wouldn't let myself get caught up in
i gotta keep my mind clear
and not let this thing i call blue magic get the best if me
but the feeling it gives me
i would not trade it for anything in the world
one day i will have full control of my habit
but until then i'll take whatever taste i can get when i can

the moment

it's funny how things work out sometimes
we try and relax and let our hair down for a while
in order to live in the moment
only to be bitten in the butt by the very moment
that took our breath away
and ended up causing us temporary insanity
but in the best way...
then reality hits
and we throw ourselves a pity party for not having things work out
for what we think is our best interest
and then the most unexpected thing happens
we realize that, that Dude has another plan for us
that unexpected unmoments
begin to occur in our lives and make us realize that
that breath taking moments are not copyrighted to one person
that living in slow motion isn't so bad after all