to the end

reality,
though as light as a feather
hit me as a hard as a brick
i know what is
and how it's going to be,
but i am still not ready to end my run yet
sometimes i sit back and just laugh
and think
maybe i like the torture
or maybe i like putting my heart through pain
or maybe it's the uncertainly of things
that drives me
because it means that things can end up either way
some think that i am crazy
and that i have lost my mind
that i am have placed too many chips on the table
and that i am playing with a losing hand
but i know that
throwing in the towel now would be way too easy for me
i'm going to see this fight through
all the way to the end
and continue to hope for the best
and pray that i haven't been wasting my time...