afraid

I’m not afraid of it
That’s not it at all
In fact I can’t wait for its return back into my life
I can’t wait for it to cover me like a blanket
And fill me up inside
I can’t wait for the power it gives me
And the way it makes me feel
I am more afraid of who will give it to me
I’m afraid of being ready to give it to someone
And them not being ready to take it
I’m afraid of not knowing what to do with it
And of messing things up
I’m afraid that I won’t know how to handle it
Once it is given to me
I’m afraid that it may not be enough
I’m afraid of not knowing how to hold on to it
I’m afraid of it being thrown away
And of it not being taken seriously
I’m not afraid of it
I’m afraid of myself when I have it