what i do sometimes

1. Make something small really big and down play the big stuff
2. I pretend like my solitude is what I hold most dear, when I hug is what I need
3. I act like you are less than you really are, while I wonder why I haven’t heard from you this week
4. Trick myself into thinking that I am in control when I live by the clock
5. Push down what is trying to escape from my heart through my mouth
6. I say that I am living just for me, but I am constantly making lists of my mistakes
7. Make believe that my past plays no role in my present, when it really does
8. Tell myself that I can do without you, but I replay every conversation and stolen moment over and over in my head
9. Hope that you won’t read my blog, but secretly wish that you will
10. Push the snooze button twice, so that I can hold on to you a little while longer