amnesia

sometimes i wish i had amnesia
if i had amnesia i wouldn't be up
at 4:30 in the morning
because i'm unable to face
what awaits me in my dreams
if i had amnesia
i think i wouldn't be so hard
i wouldn't wait for the other shoe to drop
and already have a plan to mend
my not yet broken heart
amnesia would allow me to forget
and i wouldn't have to work so hard
to make sure that the next one
doesn't have to carry what the last one did
amnesia would eliminate all of my secrets
and remove what demons may remain
i wouldn't wake up some days feeling like
wreckage from a crime scene
if i had amnesia
i wouldn't end things before they start
write the conclusion before i even get to the plot
if i had amnesia
i'd be able forget that time i became green envy
and got scared because i became someone that i didn't recognize
i could pretend that i don't think about you everyday
and pink cashmere wouldn't leave me wishing
that you could read my mind
because it would make things
so much easier to get said
i could ignore why i feel like
i am breaking my own heart
by letting it fall for the unattainable
a detox from my favorite bad habit wouldn't be necessary
i would stop trying to find a cure for this feeling of like
and quit auditioning replacements
i could continue to pretend
that i am cool with the way things are
without lying to myself
if i only had amnesia...