OF HIM

i am thinking of him
even though i do not want to
i can see his face
though its been a while
smell his smell
even though i do not know what it is
i can feel his touch
even though it is now a stranger to my flesh
i am allowing him to consume my thoughts
even though i know i shouldn't
eagerly await his voice
though it brings me false hope
i awake and look for him
even though i know that he is not here
i am thinking of him
because with me is where i want him to be