what used to be

Things felt like old times
You came back and its was like
I had never been absent from your arms
Perfection could not even describe
The feelings that I fought so hard
And so long
To get rid of
Came rushing back
Like the flood waters running
From a river
Almost a year
And things felt so familiar
The moment
Though brief
Was just what I wanted
Needed
Had vowed to myself that the next time
Would be under permanent circumstances
Got angry with myself
I let it happen again
Why do I constantly put my heart through the same thing?
Over and over
Fool me once shame on you
Fool me twice shame on me
Shame on me once, twice, three times…
No longer able to keep count
Why do I love so hard?
And why have I
Fallen for the one who's unwilling to catch me
When there are ones standing in the wings
With nets in their hands
Long for the one who wants to roam the streets
While I sit ignoring the ones who are knocking at my door
Begging to come in
I try
I try so hard
The truth is before me
But yet
It's almost like I can not see it
He is out and about
Me the furthest thing from his mind
Dealt with the pain
Cried through the heartache
Got over the anger
But the longing remains
Though it's got to be someone out there
Who wants what I want
I can't see beyond
What let me go
Who didn't know what I was
And can't see what I have become
Sit waiting for the day
That I can completely
Walk away
And no longer look back
Leaving HIM searching for
What used to be